Friday, May 1, 2009

Lunch with Uncle Sonny

Thursday between hearings in the United States Bankruptcy Court for the Middle District of Georgia, the Bad Catholic failed to avoid an occasion of sin and accompanied Uncle Sonny, a Great American, to Hooters in Valdosta, Georgia for hot wings and the attentions of well endowed young ladies.
(Uncle Sonny is, strictly speaking, not my uncle, he is the uncle of one of my employees, and Sonny is only about 10 or 12 years older than me, however, he is everybody's Uncle Sonny.)
At this fine establishment, we had the pleasure of being waited on by Miss "C.J." an attractive young lady who is a junior at Valdosta State University majoring in accounting. C.J. first arrived at our table shivering from the cold air conditioning. Being a true Southern Gentleman, Uncle Sonny said "I'm sorry you're cold." Whereupon Miss C.J. asked if we thought that the A.C. was on too high. The Bad Catholic stated that he didn't think that it was too cold, but then wearing all of his Court clothes, the Bad Catholic was wearing a lot more clothes than Miss C.J. Miss C.J. is interested in being an accountant and an attorney. The Bad Catholic, after making a few cynical remarks about his profession, provided a few words of encouragement between wings. The Bad Catholic will pray for Miss C.J. and all of her intentions in the future.
Since the Bad Catholic cannot seem to avoid occasions of sin, this is why the Bad Catholic is a Bad Catholic. Bad Catholic needs to go to confession more often. On the way out of the aforementioned establishment, Uncle Sonny commented that there was a T-shirt for sale which said "A Hooters Girl Thinks I'm Sexy." The Bad Catholic remarked to Uncle Sonny that what we need is the T-Shirt which says, "A Hooters Girl Thinks I'm a Dirty Old Man." The Bad Catholic has commented to Uncle Sonny in the past when we have visited the aformentioned establishment that the little girls who are waiting on us are a little older than his 15 year old niece, but not by much. It reminds me of a quote from the immortal Fred Sanford: "I'm a dirty old man, and I'm gonna be a dirty old man until I'm a dead old man!"
The Bad Catholic must now rush off to confession. (Really, believe it or not I'm going to First Friday Eucharistic Adoration in about 40 minutes). But remember, the Church is a hospital for sinners, and the Bad Catholic admits that he is one of the most wretched and wicked of sinners.

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